‘The Great American Trailer Park Musical’
(music and lyrics by David Nehls, book by Betsy Kelso; dir: Jeff Lowe)

A comic fable about women in a Florida trailer park and their no-account men.

The music score combines country blues, boogie-woogie, and disco.

Wkend Perfs. April/May 2010.
Benicia Old Town Theatre Group, 140 West J St,
Benicia. Info: (707) 746-1269

The Benicia Old Town
Theatre Group is a non-profit
communitytheatre group that
has been in existence since 1964.
While honoring its commitment
to excellence in theatre,
we have managed to produce
more than 87 plays in 45 years!

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The Great American Trailer Park Musical
Musical in 2 acts: Music and lyrics, David Nehls, book by Betsy Kelso
Dodger Stages Theatre 1, Off-Broadway; First preview: August 20, 2005; Opening Night: September 27, 2005; Closed December 4, 2005: (121 performances)

• • • "Adultery, strippers, murderous ex-boyfriends, Costco and the Ice Capades. Undeniable fun." —NY Post. "A bright new show!" —NY Times. "A show that actually lives up to the hype of its title." —Village Voice. "A delicious new musical. The joint is jammed and jumping with raucous laughter. It's like The Honeymooners meets The Best Little Whorehouse in Urinetown." —NY Post. "South Park meets Desperate Housewives in this big-hearted new musical comedy with a cheeky script by Betsy Kelso, an infectious score by David Nehls and a richly talented cast. TRAILER PARK sparkles with treasure." —NY Sun. "Joyful and unashamedly vulgar, Betsy Kelso's comic fable about women in a Florida trailer park and their no-account men is more fun than a chair-throwing episode of Jerry Springer set to music." —The New Yorker. "Entertaining and tuneful, TRAILER PARK shines like aluminum siding. The performers can sing, act and joke around with the best of them, and cocky as you please, they sell David Nehls' music as if hawking rhinestones on the Home Shopping Network." —TheaterMania.com. "This wheel-spinning, mud-splattering good time of a show is the theatrical equivalent of a bag of Doritos. You can't get enough. Who could expect a thrillingly trashy Greek chorus of trailer park matrons whose hysterical musical stylings all but redefine the girl-group-as-cultural-commentator craze? Or a number with enough show-stopping electricity to trump every musical that opened on Broadway last season?" —Talkin' Broadway. "A sparkling, sharp irreverence lights up this musical and makes it one of the most laugh-out-loud shows in town." —Broadway.com.• • •

• Synopsis
A country-rock and blues musical about agoraphobia, adultery, '80s nostalgia, spray cheese, road kill, hysterical pregnancy, a broken electric chair, kleptomania, strippers, flan, and disco, The Great American Trailer Park Musical centers around regular guy Norbert and his agoraphobic wife, Jeannie, whose marriage is threatened by Armadillo Acres' newcomer, the hot young stripper Pippi. The trailer park also plays home to a Greek-chorus-like trio of women Linoleum, Betty and Pickles, each dysfunctional in her own right.

In present-day North Florida, in a town called Starke, in a trailer park called "Armadillo Acres" (though there are few armadillos and even fewer acres), Betty, Lin and Pickles sun themselves with complete indifference to ozone depletion. Ever hospitable, they set aside their large sun reflectors to welcome the audience, the "fourth wall" clearly not their style. Established now as our bottle-blonde narrators, "The Girls" also introduce Jeannie Garstecki, agoraphobic and unable to step outside her trailer, much to the exasperation of her toll-collector husband Norbert. Just another day; nothin' new, except for Pippi, a stripper-on-the-lam who teeters in on five-inch heels.

Once Armadillo Acres' newest tenant settles in, The Girls take us back to 1983, when Jeannie first met Norbert. From courtship to shotgun wedding to a really bad perm that distracted them long enough for their baby to get kidnapped - thus triggering Jeannie's 20-year stint indoors.
Twenty years later, with a milestone anniversary just one month away, Norbert is fed up with his wife's condition and heads out for a beer. He winds up at "The Litter Box Show Palace," the local strip club set up by The Girls, who now play "Men" cloaked in flannel and mullets. Not shy about being the new girl in town, Pippi slickly works the room because, after a string of dead-end cities and no-good men, The Buck Stops Here. But Pippi makes more than tips that night - she makes a friend in Norbert Garstecki who, just like she, is tired of collecting dollar bill after dollar bill (he in his toll booth; she in her thong). Sparks fly and it doesn't take a genius to see those sparks will ignite a hot affair behind Jeannie's back, who is now determined to get out of her trailer in time for her anniversary.

Three weeks later - with one week to go - she's made it to the bottom of her steps. Though delighted by this progress, Norbert has unexpectedly developed feelings for Pippi. In separate corners, he and Jeannie contemplate where they've been and where they're headed; Jeannie, fuelled by optimism; Norbert consumed by guilt.

It turns out that Pippi has stirred up trouble elsewhere back in Oklahoma City, she had done a moonlight flit, middle-of-the night-no-phone-no-forwarding-address style from her magic-marker-sniffing ex-boyfriend Duke, who is hot on the prowl to find her. He pays a visit to Pippi's friend Tina who works at the mall in a place called "Stand by Your Flan." Life imitates art with Pickles playing the dim-witted, but well-meaning cashier. Confused and unable to calm Duke with a cup of custard, she lets on that Pippi's in Starke with a new boyfriend. Duke waves a gun maniacally and he's off to find his woman.

Back at Armadillo Acres, Jeannie ventures out further - this time covering just enough astro turf to catch Norbert and Pippi doing you-know-what behind Pippi's trailer. Shattered, she runs back inside and passes out. Her oxygen-deprived brain assimilates the awful truth in a nightmare à la Sally-Jesse-meets-Jerry-Springer-meets-reality. When she awakens, all she has to show for getting out of her trailer is a broken heart. Her marriage, her hopes, her dreams are all gone.

As if things weren't stormy enough, it is hurricane season in Florida, and a there's a storm brewing for Norbert, in more ways than one. Jeannie kicks him out, insisting that she'd rather weather an imminent thunderstorm alone. He heads off to the local motel, filled with regret about the mess he's plainly made.

Beneath calmer skies in OKC, Duke hits the road - gun poised, markers sniffed. He also hits everything in his path, leaving a trail of road kill in his wake. Hopped up on permanent ink, he arrives in Starke and heads straight to The Litter Box Show Palace, obtaining information about Pippi's local address from the local strippers (Amber, Amber and Amber - colorfully embodied by The Girls). He just misses Pippi and Norbert, who are now at odds about the status of their relationship, as well as Norbert's preoccupation with Jeannie being alone in the trailer with the power knocked out by the previous night's storm. Jeannie, meanwhile, is reluctantly missing Norbert, but holding her ground as she packs the remainder of his belongings by candlelight.

On their way out of the electricity-challenged trailer park, The Girls take a much-needed break from their narrating responsibilities to wax lustfully about men and then head off to the motel. When Duke arrives at Armadillo Acres, Jeannie is the only one left. He holds her at gunpoint, and despite her lack of valuable information on Pippi, he takes a shine to her. He yanks her out of her trailer so they can enjoy cocktails and scheming, but she sprays him in the eyes with his aerosol can (turns out sniffing is just a gateway to huffing). Rejected and enraged, Duke storms off to Costco to buy cooking spray in bulk and Jeannie, panic stricken, is left locked out of her trailer.

Once Pippi finds out that Duke is in Starke, she runs home to pack, finding Jeannie in a fetal position outside. But by the time The Girls and Norbert show up (with flowers-in-hand, and ready to ask Jeannie's forgiveness), Pippi and Jeannie are poised for an inevitable catfight, which is then interrupted by Duke's return, some gunplay and even childbirth. As the clock strikes midnight, reconciliation and a big-hearted finale happen just in time for Jeannie and Norbert's anniversary. Invigorated and inspired, everyone at Armadillo Acres resolves to make like a nail and press on …

...and surely prepaře themselves for the next new tenant.

• Primary Musical numbers
1. This Side of the Tracks
2. One Step Closer
3. The Buck Stops Here
4. It Doesn't Take a Genius
5. Owner of My Heart
6. The Great American TV Show
7. Flushed Down the Pipes
8. Storm's A-Brewin'
9. Road Kill
10. But He's Mine/It's Never Easy
11. That's Why I Love My Man
12. Panic
13. Finale
14. This Side of the Tracks (Reprise)


• CAST OF CHARACTERS
2 males and 5 females who sing and act extremely well. All females must belt and be able to sing contemporary country pop/rock music.

[NORBERT GARSTECKI] Male, 35-45, out of shape, stocky, loveable southern redneck toll collector who is trying to get his wife to come out of their mobile home to celebrate their 20th anniversary at the Ice Capades. He has a breakdown forcing him to cheat on his wife with a stripper on the run, Pippi, who just happens to live next door but he doesn’t know that, until now. He is a high school football jock who fell in love with his Geometry tutor. Must be a high baritone. Comic timing a must.

[DUKE] Male, 20-25. The misfit, long lost son of Jeannie and Norbert Garstecki. Originally appears to be a bit of a hoodlum, but once he's reunited with his parents, is a puppy dog. Some of Duke’s hobbies include driving fast, killing anything in his path, huffing on Magic Markers to kill his jitters and mistreating his women. Comic timing is a must. Must sing and act extremely well. Rock tenor.

[JEANNIE GARSTECKI] Female, 35-45, agoraphobic housewife (Norbert's wife) who hasn't been outside their mobile home since their loving son, Elvis, was kidnapped in front of Supercuts, while she was getting her hair done. Must be sweet and fragile, but strong when threatened. She met Norbert in high school in 1983 and was his tutor in Geometry. It was love at first…well, it was love. Must be able to belt and sing legit. Comic timing a must.

[PIPPI] Female, 25-35, the new girl in town and a stripper. She has had a hard life and been around the block several times. Currently dating Duke, but had to escape and find herself. She finds herself a married man who lives next door to her in a trailer park where EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYTHING. Must be sexy (at least on a stripper pole as she gyrates on one), lovable and thin with a big belt voice and great comic timing.

[BETTY] Female, 30-45, the manager of Armadillo Acres, North Florida's most exclusive manufactured housing community. Her nickname is “Bad-Ass Betty from Highway 301.” She is very tough on the outside with a heart of gold, but doesn’t mind speaking her peace with ANYONE (male or female). She has her rules and is the only one who can break them. Must be an extremely versatile actress/singer who has a rough belt and great comic timing. She's the leader of the Greek Chorus of Trailer Park divas as it were.

[LIN] Female, 30-45, Betty's cohort and 2nd in the Greek Chorus of Trailer Park divas that comment throughout the show. Her real name is Linoleum (because her mama gave birth to her on the kitchen floor). She has big hair and a big mouth. Her husband has been in the Florida State Prison for eight years and she does everything in her power to keep Ol’ Smokey (the prison’s faulty electric chair) from frying her husband. It’s her goal to keep all of Stark County’s power on, so the prison won’t execute her husband. Must be able to belt and have great comic timing.

[PICKLES] Female, 17-19, Betty's 3rd cohort. Must be young and naïve, but has also been around the block. Pickles, whose real name is Donna) is a typical dumb blonde who has hysterical pregnancies (meaning that she’s not really pregnant but has the symptoms). She’s married to a guy from Jacksonville (the hotspot of Florida) and loves him despite his faults (foreign beers and cheese that smells like urine). Must belt and have great comic timing.